Friday, January 30, 2009

Stop Looking

I look around at my single sisters and I see the earnest s-e-a-r-c-h-i-n-g for that prince to come sweep them off their feet. I mean, eyes peeled and ready, scanning the perimeter for him to come riding in on his white horse. I honestly believe that Mr. Right comes when you are "right" and on the "right track". When your flow is doing just that...flowing. It's a cosmic thing that you can't force into being. I don't believe in the stars and all that but it's our energy that attracts and rejects these men. But we need to stop looking to men to complete us. We will never attract someone who is whole without first completing ourselves or at least beginning or being open to true self-love and acceptance. If we are broken, we will attract someone who is also broken or who will feed on and exploit our broken-ness, creating a needy cycle which feeds his ego and keeps you dependent on him. That's not love. First of all (and I may get some flack for this) a woman is not supposed to be "looking" for anybody. The Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. He who finds, not she. Nowhere does it say, "she set out on her journey to find a husband". It's not your job to go looking for a man. And that is because, yes, we are the weaker sex and more prone to think with our hearts and not our heads. A man on the other hand, a lot of the time, thinks with his...well. And all that attracts him is not the sprayed on skinny jeans and the sheen of your hair or the flash of your eyes. Know that a man can be just as turned on, if not more, by WHO you are on the inside, because when it all comes down to it, it's about how you make him FEEL. Now, if you have yourself about yourself and you are handling your business, when you are approached you will respond in kind...or not...and keep it moving. What I said about the woman not finding the man does not mean that you stay home and wait for him to knock on your door and rescue you from your misery. Go out and do your thing and meet people but don't be so hungry for love you take the first brother that smiles and whispers in your ear. I am so sick of hearing women woe and complain about this brother and that when they love beneath themselves. Set some standards and stick to them! AND...if you have a man, stick to him before your eyes start roving. If you're not committed don't expect him to be.

I look at these "reality" TV shows and they romanticize everything so much and these stupid people are talking about how in love they are..please! If you were not on an all expense paid months-long vacation traipsing around with Lover Boy in the Bahamas and fighting down Sally and Sue for his attention day and night would you be in love? Are you in love with the man or are you in love with being in love? Don't get me vex. And who in the "real" world lives in a house with ten other women who are all vying for the same man anyway? Have mercy...Love is just as sweet in McDonalds, and strolling down the street after to catch the matinee. Stop looking for the ride of your life and look within to see if you are the ride or die he needs you to be. Women are so busy trying to get from a brother they aren't looking at what they have to give. When the MAC and the Maybelline come off is your spirit glossing and popping? Can you have an intelligent conversation with him? Can you be his friend? Not his baby-boo, but his FRIEND? Can you call him out when he is acting the fool but say it in love so his ego isn't bruised? Can you put yourself aside long enough to cater to his needs every once in a while? Can you take a special trip out of the way to get that _____ you know he likes? Or cook a Sunday dinner on Tuesday just because. Can you be the no-matter-what kind of woman you told him you were when you were batting your eyelashes at him? Women I am so tired of you. I am so tired of your foolish games and your trifling ways. I wouldn't want to date you either. Talking about you want this and that but what are you gonna do for me, the brother asks. Huh? What do you have to offer but your teasing and your 3-month rule trying to make me feel you are oh so virtuous. Come on now. That's the oldest one in the book. Too many games - too many games.

Women need to stop looking and start being...start being ladylike and nurturing and kind and strong and good and feminine and sweet and smart and lovable...and REAL.

I want to go on but I am making myself mad LOL. I couldn't be a man. I feel bad for them.

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